The Price of Being Epic
by lateVMlover
Summary: This is a one shot story of Veronica as she is forced to face a devastating loss.  She has memories of her and Logan and a vow of vengance to sustain her.  An old friend promises to help her.
1. Chapter 1

**Last night I was reading the Buffy/Veronica crossover story that keeps showing up on the main page and woke up with this story in my head. It was inspired by the episode from Buffy in season 5 when she stays by her mom's graveside and Angel comes and sits with her all night. I always thought that scene was particularly powerful. We never saw what she was thinking. I took that scene and wrote my own with Veronica. This is not a Buffy crossover, but it was inspired by Buffy. Get your Kleenex ready. I labeled this a Veoronica/Weevil story, but it's just as much a LoVe story.**

The Price of Being Epic

_"_Ashes to Ashes…Dust to Dust." Veronica tuned out the words of the minister. Her shattered eyes stared wordlessly at the casket in front of her. How could this be real? How could she be once again at the graveside of someone she loved, someone who defined who she was? All she had now were memories. And the memories kept recycling over and over inside her mind.

_Flashback: She watched Logan walked out of the cafeteria after beating and humiliating Gory. His actions had caught her off guard for some reason. Why was he always willing to show the world how he felt? Where did he find the strength? The courage? She had been thinking about that when her eyes caught Piz's standing across the room, a look of hurt and loss on his face. _

_She sighed and walked up to him. "Hey," she said with a small smile. "Never a dull moment around here." She tried to joke, to keep things light. She tried once again to hide from Piz how Logan's actions affected her. _

_However, he wasn't an idiot. He gave her a sad half smile. "I'm a lover not a fighter," he said. She smiled at his comment, waiting for his smile. When it didn't come she had opened her mouth to say something to explain away Logan's actions, to find an excuse. "It's obvious you both want and need a fighter," he said. _

"_What? No! That's not what I want. I hate this fighting! I hate that Logan doesn't think; he just acts. No matter the consequences," she insisted. _

_Piz sighed and shook his head. "I wish that were true, Veronica. You can't know how much I wish it were true. But I can't compete with Logan. I can't compete with that kind of devotion," Piz declared. _

"_I don't want you to. You don't need to. I'm with you because I want to be," she had told Piz so earnestly. _

_He gave her a humorless laugh. "I wish for both oursakes you'd quit lying to yourself. You and Logan are like magnets-sometimes you're knocked over and circumstances keep pushing you apart. But it's inevitable that you'll flip back to the right side and be pulled together. Some forces are elemental. I can't get in the way of that. No one can. That man loves you. I want to say I love you as much, and I'd risk anything for you. But I can't. You're worth it, though. There's something about you, Veronica Mars, that makes men lose their minds, their reason. When I saw you last fall I wanted you so much that I wouldn't let myself see Logan or see that what you felt for him was real. I'm not sure why you broke up with him-I wouldn't let myself even ask. I just grabbed onto you like you were mine. But you weren't. And you still aren't. I can't pretend anymore. You should quit fighting the inevitable. You should go to him. He would die for you. Can you not see that? How can I compete with that? I can't. And I'm not going to try anymore. I'm sorry, Veronica. You should've forgiven him sooner and saved both of us some grief." He gave her one last sad look then walked away._

_End of Flashback._

"A life cut down so young is always a tragedy," the minster's voice broke in. Veronica vaguely felt her father's arms wrapped around her. She glanced at his strong profile. His Sherriff's hat cast a shadow on his face. He looked sad. Did she look sad? Was sad the word to describe what she was feeling? How could a word with three little letters describe what she was feeling? She brought a hand up to her face. It was dry. There weren't any tears. Was she that cold? That heartless? Her eyes connected with Piz's. He was on the other side of the half circle that was gathered around the casket. He looked at her with compassion and pity.

_Flashback: After Piz walked away from her that day, she had gone home. For some reason she had been surprised to see Logan's car parked at her apartment complex. When she got out of her car he had gotten out of his and came up to her. She had being feeling guilty over Piz, so she wasn't in the mood to deal with him. She hadn't been very welcoming. "What do you want Logan?" she asked, tiredly. _

_He looked earnestly at her. "I want you to forgive me," he said simply. _

"_For what?" she asked. _

"_For everything. For being weak and making a mistake with Madison that I will regret forever. For hurting Piz. For hurting you. For letting you think I was over you by dating Parker. Forgive me, Veronica," he demanded. "Because I love you. Because I will always love you. Because no man will ever love you the way that I do. Because I cannot live my life thinking you hate me." _

"_I don't hate you, Logan. Don't you know by now that I can't?" she asked. _

"_Then forgive me," he said once again. _

"_I'm going to try. Give me some time," she said. _

"_I'll be here waiting for you as long as it takes," he vowed._

_End of Flashback._

"Nothing can prepare us to lose someone we love, especially when they are so young. But we will see our loved ones again someday. That's a promise…" she tuned out the minister once again. How could she not see him again? Why had she been so unforgiving? Why did it take her so long to realize how much she needed him?

_Flashback: When Veronica had returned from her internship in Virginia she had expected to see her dad at the airport picking her up. Instead, it was Logan waiting for her. She couldn't hide the surprise and the pleasure she felt at seeing him. She had thought about him so much over the summer. He had emailed her every day she was away. She had ignored his emails for a week and then she had begun emailing him back. At first they had kept things light and superficial. But then they started reminiscing which led to them discussing past events. Logan told her how lost and betrayed he had felt when Lilly died, and she had sided against him. She told him that she had lost everything but her dad, so her dad was the only man she would let herself fully trust and count on. Confessing how they had hurt one another with their actions in high school was something they hadn't done much when they started dating. Both wanted to just forget all the bad that had happened. Talking about how they felt had been cathartic. The lingering poison that had always been leftover from the way they hurt each other after Lilly's death had finally been dispelled. The emails had sometimes been angry, sometimes apologetic. All of them had been healing in some way. They had finally talked about all the things they never let themselves talk about when they had been together._

_Veronica walked toward him, pulling her suitcase behind her. He looked both nervous and hopeful. She walked faster toward him. When she got close enough to see the brown in his eyes, she dropped the handle of her suitcase and jumped the last few steps toward him. He caught her as she leapt into his arms. He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn't let him speak. Instead, she fused her mouth to his. The kiss had been perfect, epic. She had dreamt of that moment and that kiss all summer. The reality had surpassed very dream and fantasy she had. When the kiss ended she had smiled and said, "I forgive you." _

_He had laughed and spun her around before setting her on her feet. "Do you still love me?" she asked him coyly. _

"_More than my own life," he said without hesitating. "Do you love me?" he asked, smiling down at her. _

"_Yes, I love you," she had finally told him. The smile had left his face for one moment. Maybe the shock of hearing her finally say the words had taken him off guard. He had wasted no time in kissing her again until they were both breathless. The ride back to his place was a blur. She just remembered laughing at him for cursing the fact that he didn't have the foresight to take a taxi. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. He ran at least one red light and swerved to avoid a few cars. When they arrived at his place he had pulled her out of the car and said, "You're going to be the death of me!" She had laughed and replied, "But you'll love every moment!"_

_End of Flashback_

Veronica felt a hand grab hold of hers. She looked to the left. Tears were rolling down Trina's face. The shock and pain seemed real. With Tina it was hard to decipher real emotion from fake. She spent so much time pretending. Veronica squeezed her hand, trying to offer some comfort. Now Trina had no one. The minister's voice broke in once again. "Logan Echolls' untimely death is a shock the community will feel for a long time." Was it shock she was feeling right now? Was that why she was so numb? The minister was wrong Veronica thought bitterly. There was nothing "untimely" about his death. His death had been planned down to a T.

_Flashback: Veronica and Logan had spent two happy weeks together before classes started back. It was like they had never been apart, never broken up. Except this time Veronica gave him her trust and allowed Logan to love her the way he had always wanted to, without restraint or restriction. Classes started back. Logan had carried her books and had walked her to class. He had kissed her sweetly goodbye. Everything had finally been perfect. _

_They had been out with Mac and Dick when it happened. Logan had been teasing her about something. She had stopped on the curb pouting up at him when he had stepped into the road. She had looked back at Dick who had interjected one of his lame jokes. Then she heard a loud engine and Mac's shout of warning. She had turned toward Logan. The smile had still been on his face when he turned his head toward the car lights. It had happened so fast. Veronica had tried to step out in the road toward him, but Dick had pulled her back just as the car hit Logan with a resounding thump. She had watched in horror and disbelief as his body went airborn. The car kept on going; the driver never even paused. The lights from the restaurant had illuminated the street. Another car had stopped, their headlights shining down on Logan who had lain so still._

_Veronica had run toward him screaming with Dick and Mac right behind her. It seemed like a dream, even more so than the night Lilly had died. Even the memory had a dreamlike quality to it. The hit happened in a moment, but the sounds of the crash will linger forever. As soon as she got to Logan's side, she knew that he was gone. His eyes were empty. They no longer looked at her in love and adoration. She remembered screaming over and over. Dick was on his other side looking down in shock and disbelief. How could he be gone just like that, they had both been thinking? It was unbelievable._

_End of Flashback_

Veronica was pulled from the memories. The minister was finished. Trina let go of her hand and walked toward the casket. She placed a rose on top of the casket. She paused a moment and turned away from the shell that contained her only remaining family. Her eyes connected with Veronica's. They shared a moment of mutual grief and understanding. Then she walked away. Dick had been standing next to Trina. He closed the gap between them with Mac on his other side. Dick took her hand. Together they walked toward the casket. They picked up a rose from the basket. Dick started to put his on top of the casket. He paused and looked at Veronica. He looked lost. Tears filled his eyes. "What will we do without him, Ronnie?" he asked softly. "Remember," she said simply. Mac came up and grabbed a rose. She put it on the casket. Dick finally followed her example. Veronica released the rose. She would hate roses forever. She stepped back so others could come up and say goodbye.

Mac hugged her. "I'm going to take Dick back home. Are you going to meet us there?" she asked Veronica.

"I don't know. Maybe. I need to stay here a bit longer," she told Mac. She couldn't leave. She didn't know how to.

Mac nodded her head in understanding. Dick gave her a long hug goodbye. His grief pushed at Veronica. She wanted him to leave; the weight of her own grief was more than she could bear. Mac took Dick's hand and led him away. Wallace and Piz gave her a hug. They didn't say anything. Sometimes words weren't necessary. Sometimes her friends knew her too well. The days of pretending and hiding like she had in high school were gone forever. Having friends who knew and understood her wasn't a bad thing she finally realized.

"Are you ready, honey?" her dad asked.

"No. I need some time here with him. I'll be okay. I'll call you later," she said to her dad, trying to say whatever she needed to say to get him to leave her alone. Finally, he kissed her goodbye and left. Left her alone with Logan's body hidden inside an overpriced casket. Now all she had were her memories. Memories of his arms wrapped around her. Veronica closed her eyes and hugged herself in remembrance. How he loved her. Every woman should experience what it feels like to be loved that way. Then again when that love is gone, the loss is paralyzing. Veronica's eyes opened. The funeral home was taking down their trappings. She took a few steps back to give them space, her eyes transfixed on the casket as they began lowering it into the grave. She felt a presence behind her, waiting. She didn't turn; she didn't need to. She knew who it would be.

Veronica may not remember everything that happened the night Logan died, but someone was thoughtful enough to film the events and post them on the internet for everyone to see. The media tried to play it off like it was a former fan of Logan's parents who spotted him outside the restaurant and started videotaping him. However, Veronica had experience with videotapes going public. This particular video had been emailed to her before it had gone public. She knew that neither the video or the hit and run were an accident. Someone had wanted to hurt her further.

_Flashback: The Neptune Sherriff's Department had been called immediately. Leo had been the first on the scene. He had tried to pull her away from Logan's body, but she wouldn't move. It had taken her father to get her to leave his side. Dick was throwing up as they finally covered Logan's body with a sheet. Some blood had been trickling out of Logan's mouth, but it had been obvious to onlookers that his neck had been broken. He had been dead before he hit the pavement. Veronica had been hysterical. The hysteria played quite well on the video. The video had appeared the next day. The video had been titled "Young Lovers Tragically Torn Apart." The fact that the video title didn't have Logan's famous last name on it had immediately made Veronica suspicious. A fan or someone that had simply videotaped him because they recognized him would have labeled it differently. Veronica had gotten into a bitter argument with her dad when he labeled it a hit and run. He refused to see the conspiracy Veronica saw. The video conveniently had no clear shot of the car who struck Logan._

_End of Flashback._

Veronica knew that Logan's death had _not_ been an accident. Someone had intentionally run him down. Everyday her belief in that grew stronger. The growing knowledge and the anger that came with it seemed to dry up her tears and burn away her grief. She also knew that Gory Sorokin was behind it. The video cemented her belief in that fact. She would prove it; she would make him pay. Veronica felt a hand slip into hers. She looked over and smiled. "I knew it was you," she said.

"I'm here, V. Whatever you need," Weevil said.

"I'm going to make him pay, Weevil. And anyone else who helped him. No matter how long it takes, Gory is going to pay for what he did," Veronica vowed.

Weevil put his arm around her. "Yes, he will. I'll help you. You're not alone," he assured her.

But she was alone; a part of her would _always_ be alone. She no longer had the man who refused to leave her, to give up on her. Why did she wait so long to forgive him? She had wasted so much time holding on to her anger and pride. Why didn't she listen to him? She always had to keep pushing until someone got hurt. Now he was dead, and she was responsible. Logan attacked Gory because he couldn't stand to see anyone hurt her. It was her fault the man she loved was gone forever.

"I killed him," she said softly.

"What?" Weevil asked in shock. "No, you didn't. Don't you _ever_ say that! You loved that arrogant jackass, and he loved you-as much as it pains me to admit. Logan would never want you to blame yourself for his death. He would just be happy you weren't hurt, too."

"Gory Sorokin did this, Weevil. I know that he did. Logan beat him up last May for that video of Piz and me and for insulting me in the cafeteria. Gory threatened to kill him. He took his time doing it, but I _know_ it was him!" she said vehemently.

"I believe you," Weevil said.

"Really?" she asked in surprise. No one else but Dick seemed to give much credence to her theory. Not even her dad.

"Sure. When have you ever been wrong?" Weevil asked with a smile.

"It may take a long time to prove Gory was behind this," she confessed.

"It doesn't matter. I'm with you no matter how long it takes. We'll find out the truth. And if the courts won't make him pay, we will," Weevil promised. It wouldn't be the first time he made sure someone paid for committing murder when the police couldn't do the job.

His assurance and faith penetrated the numbness she had been cloaked in all day. Finally, the finality of her loss hit her, and she collapsed against him. The tears finally came. She closed her eyes and sobbed against Weevil's chest.

She could still see Logan's eyes smiling down at her, filled with love and joy at finally being with her. She could feel his touch, hear his voice._ "I thought what we had was epic, you know. You and Me. Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined and bloodshed. Epic."_ Seeing him the next day with Kendall never erased what he had said. Since his death, those words of his kept playing in her mind. She had run that night from him once again, so he had drunk dialed someone else to make him forget her rejection. He had forgiven her, and he had loved her relentlessly. Veronica cried as she realized the final price of being epic. She was paying for it now. She wiped her face. But Gory would pay Veronica promised herself. She didn't fail Lilly. There was no way in hell she was going to fail Logan.

She pulled away from Weevil and stepped closer to Logan's grave. She looked down at the hole they had yet to close. She could see the shine of his casket several feet down. She cemented the image in her mind, drying up the tears once again. This is the last time she would ever be a victim. "I loved every moment," she said softly for only Logan to hear.

She turned and looked at Weevil. He was strong enough to help her. She would never be weak again. Weevil held out his hand, and she took it. She could hear Lilly's voice echoing in her head. _"You're red satin, Veronica_." "Sorry, Lilly,"she thought. Satin was too soft. She had to be steel. They got to Weevil's car, and she stopped one last time to look back. _I won't ever forget you, Logan. I will live my life for you and Lilly both. Take care of each other. I'll take care of everyone else. And I will do whatever it takes; pay any price, to make sure Gory suffers for taking you away from me. I promise!_ She wouldn't let herself say goodbye. She couldn't. Not until this was over. Not until Gory answered for what he did.

"Promise me something, Eli," she said, using his real name for the first time.

"Anything," he replied.

"Never give me roses," she said with a hard glint in her eyes.

"No problem," he said, giving her a small smile.

"Let's get started," she said to Weevil. She got into the car, her mind already filling with plans.

_This was at first a one shot, but I added an epilogue. Although I love to think of a happily ever after LoVe, a part of me thinks it wasn't in the cards for them. Reviews are much appreciated._


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided to write the rest of this story since it was in my head. For those who have been reading my other stories, you may find the story difficult to imagine. This story is very different from my other two stories. Some were uncomfortable imagining Veronica with Weevil, but I don't know why. They were never sibling-like on the show. He always flirted with her, and sometimes she flirted back. He was never like Wallace to Veronica. If Logan wasn't around or completely out of the picture, who else would be strong enough for her? Who else would cross any lines for her? If you want to read a happy LoVe, read my other stories!**

Epilogue

_8 years later….._

It was finally time. They drove to the graveside in silence. They had all agreed to say goodbye together. Veronica had not been sure she could do this. All her energy for the past eight years had been focused almost exclusively on bringing Logan's killers to justice. This goal had seemed so simple. After all it had only taken her a little over a year to solve Lilly's murder. However, Veronica had not realized when she made her vow at Logan's graveside how complex the Sorokin organization had been.

She got out of the car when Mac and Dick pulled up. Trina and Weevil had ridden with her. There was very little conversation between all of them as they waited for Duncan. He had not been able to make Logan's funeral. However, when news of Logan's death had finally reached him, he began working with his family to come back home. The Kanes called in every favor they had to get charges dropped against Duncan. Weidman's investigation into the twisted upbringing the Mannings had subjected Grace to and Duncan's firsthand knowledge of it finally gave the Kanes the breakthrough they needed. It had actually been the late Sherriff Don Lamb that had finally convinced the DA and FBI to drop the charges. Although Lamb had not taken action against the Mannings the day Veronica and Duncan found Grace locked in the closet, he had written an extensive report about the events and his own suspicions. He cited compassion for the eventual loss of their daughter as reason to not report his findings to DHS. Veronica's dad, the current Sherriff, had found the report where he was going through Lamb files.

It had taken Duncan two years after Logan's death to be free of the charges and to come back home. Lilly had been four years old. When Duncan pulled up to the graveside, Veronica saw he had brought Lilly with him. She was getting so big. Soon she would be a teenager. Lily got out of the car and immediately ran to Veronica. Duncan had yet to marry, and he had kept any women in his life away from Lilly. Only Veronica, Mac, and Trina were allowed to touch her life. Veronica gave Lilly a hug and settled her on her other side, her arm around her shoulders.

Logan's death had brought so many changes. She watched Lilly whisper something to Trina and giggle. Logan would probably be surprised to see Trina so close to all of them. Veronica would have never believed that someday she and Trina would become so close. Logan's death had bound them together in ways neither woman could have foreseen. His death and murder had altered them both. Trina had been forced to build a life without her famous parents or her only remaining family. Losing Logan had forced her to look at the person she had become and make some changes. Lilly's death in high school and Veronica's rape had changed her. However, the loss of Logan had killed something inside of her. Even though Veronica had found a way to move on and even thrive, a part of her had died with Logan.

She smiled as Weevil grabbed her hand, and they all walked toward Logan's graveside. Veronica didn't see it as a betrayal of Logan that she had allowed herself to love again. It had been five years after Logan's death when the friendship between her and Weevil had changed. From the day she had vowed vengeance at Logan's graveside, Weevil had been there doing whatever it took to get closer to the Russian mob. Weevil had shocked everyone but her when he pursued a career in law enforcement. After Veronica and Mac graduated, Veronica had moved to Virginia and Dick and Weevil went to L.A. Dick posed as a shiftless, a moral trust-fund kid. Weevil had joined vice with the LAPD and had gone deep undercover. Weevil had been two years as an undercover drug dealer before they got their first breakthrough. Unfortunately, that breakthrough came at Weevil's expense. He had gotten shot in a drug raid at one of the Sorokin's properties.

When Veronica had heard the news she had stopped her own FBI investigation to run back to California to be by his side. His near death had finally penetrated the walls she had built around her since Logan's death. She had depended on Weevil to always be there for her, and he had. To almost lose him had terrified her and shook her to her core. She couldn't lose anyone else she cared about. That's when she realized how important he had become to her.

After his shooting, she had requested a transfer to the L.A. office in the FBI to help him recover. It had been so good to be back home in California. Mac had transferred back, too, so they could coordinate the final steps in their plan to completely destroy the foothold the Russian mob had on the west coast. Their investigation into Gory had quickly uncovered how crucial the Sorokin family was to the Russian mob's west coast organization.

They stood in a semi-circle around Logan's grave. Veronica knelt down and traced the lines of the Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem she had ordered on the headstone. "I shall but love thee better after death." She let those words wash over her. Even now after all this time, she could feel his love for her. It had given her strength when she had wanted to give up. It had given her hope when their seemed to be none.

She rose up and looked around at all her friends gathered there with her. They weren't just her friends but her family. No one else in their lives could understand what the past eight years had really been like for all of them. She couldn't have done it without them.

_Flashback: After she and Weevil drove away from Logan's graveside, Veronica's mind and heart had been filled with pain and vengeance. She had Weevil drive them to the Grand where Mac, Dick, and Trina were waiting._

_When she and Weevil came into the room Trina had been on the balcony with a drink in her hand. Dick and Mac had been on the couch, Dick's head in Mac's lap._

_"We need to talk," Veronica said. They all gathered around as she laid out for all of them why she knew Gory was behind Logan's death. She had told them she intended to prove it and destroy Gory and anyone else connected to Logan's death._

_"Will you help me?" she asked. Immediately, they all had agreed. Even Trina wanted to be a part of her plan. "I have no family anymore. Logan and I were never close, but he was my brother. I loved him. If it had been me that was murdered, I know he would have done everything in his power to make the person pay. I don't know how much help I can be, but please let me be a part of this."_

_At first Veronica had agree to Trina's involvement for the cold, hard fact that the Echolls' resources would be useful. Veronica hadn't known then that Logan had left his half of the Echolls' fortune to her. Trina had surprised Veronica by stepping up. She had thrown off the cloak of shallowness that had been so much a part of her. She had stopped completely her drive to be famous. In the weeks and months after Logan's death, Veronica had found herself clinging to Trina as the one living connection to Logan. She and Mac had eventually moved in with Trina in a house they had bought together. When Veronica had gone to Virginia, Trina had gone with her. Neither of them was ever completely alone again. Trina had become the sister to Veronica that she had never been to Logan._

_Veronica's determination fueled her plans. The day they buried Logan the four of them had agreed to a plan. Veronica and Mac would finish their degrees as quickly as possible. Veronica would pursue a career in the FBI and Mac the CIA. Mac had already gotten tapped by the FBI for her computer skills. However, they agreed that having someone working behind the scenes with the CIA would be invaluable. Since __Mac and Veronica had agreed to graduate from Hearst within three years, they went to school through the summers and took a full class load during the semesters, so they could do a four year degree in three. Veronica's inheritance from Logan allowed her to be able to focus on school without worrying about money or having to work. Trina and Veronica had agreed to hire a smart money manager that had a good reputation. They had allowed the manager to make some modest investments on their behalf. Trina's days of frivilous spending were over. Even though Veronica was investing a lot of her fortune, she felt it was acceptable to splurge on her dad. He deserved it. Keith had protested, but Veronica had insisted on buying him and Alicia a house as a wedding gift. She knew that Logan would have wanted that._

_Veronica had kept both her dad and Wallace out of her plans of vengeance. It wasn't that she loved Wallace more than her other friends, so much as he was special. He was kind and sweet. He was her brother and Veronica wanted to protect him from the ugliness she had brought into their lives. Wallace had never truly been touched by tragedy or the ugliness of murder like the rest of them had. Her father was finally happy, and she didn't want to do anything to change that. She didn't cut herself off from her family. It was more like she became two different people. She kept up appearances of who she had been before Logan's death when she was around her dad and the Fennels. Only Mac, Weevil, Dick, Trina, and Duncan really saw the fire and rage that burned below the surface._

_Duncan had gotten Weidman, their head of security, to confirm Gory had been behind the hit and run. Mac had hacked into the surveillance after Veronica's dad had declared it a hit and run. Video had shown it was not Gory behind the wheel. Not to mention Gory had an air tight alibi for the time of Logan's death. The Sheriff Department resources had not been able to identify the driver. __However, Veronica had Mac examine all public and private camera surveillance for the entire day of Logan's death. Bypassing legal channels, they had retraced Logan's steps and digitally mapped Logan's entire day. It had been Dick who had noticed the car on a video that morning. He had been helping Mac go through the footage. Dick had been so excited that he had kissed Mac for the first time. Mac had told Veronica later that had been the moment things had changed between them._

_Dick's observation not only had shown that the hit was premediated, but it had also led them to the identity of the driver. Weidman found out for them that he had been Gory's cousin, the son of the uncle who had the direct mob connection. Uncle Sorokin had been training his son as a cleaner the mob could utilize. He was a few years older than Gory. They had made the decision to sit on the information they had uncovered. Veronica didn't want to just have the driver punished. She wanted Gory. _She had been keeping tabs on Gory and had found out he was living the high life after graduation. _When she found out the driver had been Gory's cousin she decided then to destroy the entire Sorokin family and bring down their entire organization._

_They agreed to eventually publically distance themselves from both Weevil and Dick. It would be up to Weevil and Dick to infiltrate the Russian mob in Los Angeles. Dick dropped out of Hearst at the end of fall semester of his sophomore year and began, by all appearances, living the life of a spoiled surfer bum living off of a trust fund. He bought a beach house in Santa Monica and built a reputation for throwing wild parties. He began buying up property on the seedier side of town until he captured the interest of the Russian mob. He waited to make direct contact until Veronica had become a full agent._

_It took four years for her to be in a position to begin an official investigation. After Logan died, she had finished her degree in two years and took another year to become a full agent. She had resisted her impulsive nature and had become a model agent, for once never bucking authority or making waves. She had quietly made her way up the ladder, making friends and cultivating contacts. Eventually in her second year, she had a supervisor she could trust. She had shared with her boss her background with the Sorokin family and what Dick and Weevil had learned in L.A. She had convinced her supervisor to use them both as assets. The day she had gotten the official go ahead to begin an investigation she had went home and cried. Tears had been mostly absent since Logan's death. Veronica wouldn't let herself indulge very often in tears. However, finally getting government help to take down the entire Sorokin organization had given her the hope she hadn't allowed herself to feel. _

_Even with the full backing of the FBI, it had taken them three and a half years before they could finally make their arrests. They worked to take them all in s__imultaneously. Raids were conducted at various facilities all at once. Veronica had waited until Gory and his cousin had been together, so she could be the one to bring them in. Thanks to Dick, she had been able to nail down the timing perfectly. She wanted Gory to see her face and know she was the one to destroy them all. Finally getting to drag him away in handcuffs had made all the work worth it. _

_End of Flashback_

It had taken six months for Gory and his cousin's trial to be over and a conviction won. "I can't believe it's finally over," Trina said.

"What will we do now?" Mac asked.

"I know what you can do," Dick said. Then he got down on one knee and pulled open a ring box. "Marry me, Cindy Mackenzie. Logan can't be here to be my best man; Weevil will have to do. But I wanted him to be a part of this in some way. His death brought us together. The long fight to put his killers behind bars has made this the longest courtship ever. But now it's over, and we can finally go out in public. I can tell the world that I love you, and you can be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Veronica looked at Weevil and Duncan who didn't look surprised by Dick's actions. They both had big grins on their faces. "You knew?" she whispered accusingly to Weevil. "I can't believe you didn't," he replied with a smug look.

Mac's eyes filled with tears. Dick and she hadn't had a normal courtship by any stretch of the imagination. Their first kiss had been when they had been watching video footage. Their first date had been take-out Chinese. They slept together for the first time at Christmas, Dick's last week in Neptune. They hadn't been exclusive for a long while because Veronica's plan required very little contact between the women and Dick and Weevil. Stolen moments and hot sex had fueled the relationship for a long time. When Mac finally transferred three years ago to L. A., they had finally been able to find the time to fall in love.

Of all of them, Dick had changed the most since Logan's death. Beaver's death had hurt him and shook him up. However, Logan's death had broken him the way it had Veronica. Logan had been the most important person in both their lives. Dick had been lost without Logan who had been his anchor. While Veronica had clung to her anger and plans of vengeance, Dick had internalized Logan's death a different way. His fun loving nature now came out only on rare occasions. Instead, he was serious, focused, and determined. Like Veronica and Weevil, he cultivated two very different personas. One was the worst version of himself that he'd been in high school. The other, the real him, he only showed to the five of them. Weevil was the only one allowed to be seen in public with him, so they had become unlikely companions and eventually true friends. Dick had surprised all of them, Veronica especially, when he had developed a real knack for undercover work. Although his work had been done mostly in an unofficial capacity, he had been the one to get the closest to the Sorokin family. It was his hours of video and audio recordings as well as first hand testimony that will keep the Sorokin family behind bars for a long time. It was his life that was now in the most danger for payback. However, he had the resources to keep himself and Mac safe. Not to mention, he had spent a lot of money learning self-defense. No one would find him an easy target.

"I would love to marry you!" Mac exclaimed with a wide smile. Dick put the ring on her finger and got to his feet. He pulled her in for a kiss.

The scene brought a quiet joy to Veronica. She put her head on Weevil's chest, and he put his arm around her waist. Her relationship with Weevil was different from what she had with Logan. He had been a fixture in her life long before she had seen him as more than a friend. Their plans for the Sorokin family gave Weevil a sense of purpose he hadn't had since he left his gang. No one saw the softer side of him but his close friends. On some level, Veronica had known Weevil had been in love with her long before he ever told her. However, the cloak of her grief for Logan kept her from caring or even consciously acknowledging it. She had perfected avoidance and denial back in high school.

On the two year anniversary of Logan's death, they had been celebrating privately Weevil's completion of the police academy for the LAPD. They had gotten trashed. Veronica couldn't believe how drunk she let herself get. Having sex with Weevil had seemed like a good idea at the time. It had been convenient and easy. The next morning when she had seen Weevil's face she had known that for him it had been so much more. In a panic, she had run back to Virginia and avoided Weevil's calls for months. Only the holidays had forced her back to the west coast and back in his presence. They had found a way past the awkwardness basically by not talking about what had happened. Unlike Logan, Weevil didn't wear his heart on his sleeves. Nor did he pursue Veronica. Instead, he had just been there whenever she needed him. Midnight phone calls when she couldn't sleep. In the middle of the night when the nightmares woke her up. And finally, he had almost died implementing her plan for the Sorokins. Almost losing him is what made her see how vital he had become to her, how necessary to her happiness and sense of well-being.

The woman who had loved Logan with all her heart no longer existed. His death and cruel murder had changed her fundamentally. She wasn't the same, but in some ways, the person she became fit Weevil so much better. She was harder; she was angrier. Weevil's time in deep cover changed him, too. They both were sharper versions of themselves. Together they made sense. They both knew how fragile and fleeting life could be. Neither love nor happiness could ever be taken for granted. Veronica liked to think that Logan would want her to be with someone who would always watch out for her and keep her safe. Someone whose main goal in life was to just be with her, to love her. She loved Weevil with all of her heart that she had left. He knew that there was a part of her he could never touch. He didn't punish her for that or even resent it. He never pretended to understand her love for Logan. He never knew the Logan that the rest of them knew. Logan's death never altered his world. But his friendship and loyalty to Veronica had compelled him to be there for her. To seek justice for Logan for her sake.

No,Veronica no longer felt guilty for loving another man. She had waited five years before she had really allowed herself to move on. A part of her would always belong to Logan. He had been everything to her, her soulmate. She didn't know if a person only had one soulmate or not. She just knew she had loved him so much, and she never dreamt she'd be forced to live her life without him. But now that she personally got to arrest both Gory and his cousin and see the organization dismantled, she could finally rest. She could say goodbye to her past, to Logan.

After Mac and Dick quit kissing, they all stood in silence a few minutes remembering Logan. Each saying goodbye in their own way, letting go of what had driven them the past eight years. One by one they knelt down in front of the tombstone and said goodbye. Duncan and Lilly went first. Duncan had told his daughter all about Logan. He was a real person to Lilly. She liked to picture Logan in heaven with her mom and Aunt Lilly watching over her. She just knew they were all together. They hugged Veronica and Trina before they left.

Trina took her time saying goodbye. She had a lot of regrets. She ignored Logan most of his life. She had mocked his allegations of abuse by their father and had been callous and indifferent when his mom committed suicide. She had refused to believe their dad was a monster who had killed Lilly and tried to kill Veronica. Logan's untimely death had finally brought her out of the fantasy land she'd been living in. "I hope you have forgiven me," she said softly. "Goodbye, little brother." She got up. Veronica gave her a long hug before she walked away.

Mac and Dick went next. "Brothers forever," Dick said. "I'll keep him out of trouble for you, Logan," Mac said. They got up slowly. Dick put his hand on the tombstone one final time. "Goodbye, Logan. I miss you." He turned and grabbed Mac's hand. He paused in front of Veronica. "We did it, Ronnie. He can rest in peace now," he said. She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

Finally, it was their turn. Weevil went first. "I will love her and keep her safe for you. Rest in peace, my friend," Weevil said quietly. They were better friends in death than they had ever been in life. Love for the same woman forever connecting them. He put a hand on Veronica's shoulder. "Take your time. I'll be waiting by the car."

She smiled her thanks and watched him walk away. He knew without being told that she needed privacy to say goodbye. She turned back toward Logan's grave. She sat down in front of the tombstone and hugged her knees. Now that the moment was here she didn't know how to say goodbye. For so long, she had been driven by her need for revenge. She wasn't sure who she was without it. She had to find a way to let him go.

She remembered the first time she met him at the age of twelve. She remembered all the times the Fab 4 spent together. Her sweet sixteen, the Homecoming dance they never went to. Their first kiss. The first time they made love. The last time they made love. She hadn't known it was the last time. So many memories, so few. They had been cheated out of so much. But they had loved each other enough to last a lifetime.

"If love were enough, you'd still be with me," she said softly. "I know that. You loved me so well, so completely. I never deserved your devotion, but you loved me anyway. Thank you, Logan, for teaching me how to love, for showing me what it was in its purest, most selfless from. I don't know if you can hear me or if you know I'm here. But I want you to know that just because I kept my promise doesn't mean that I'm going to forget you. You're a part of me, Logan. You always will be. I'll love you always." She paused as tears clogged her throat. She didn't fight them, for once letting them come. They became like a healing rain to her. "Goodbye," she finally said.

She got up and glanced one final time at the marker with his name. It seemed so cold even with the line from Browning. _Logan Echolls Forever In Our Hearts. _The grave marker may be the only remaining visible marker of Logan Echolls' too brief life. But Veronica knew that he would live on inside the hearts of those who knew him and loved him best.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked toward her friends who were waiting for her. Only they could truly understand some of what she felt. In some ways, the void would remain. But time does heal all wounds. Now that his killers were behind bars she could remember him without pain. And remember she would.

~The End~

_Lines from Browning can be found in her very famous sonnet 29. I did borrow and modify a line from Grey's Anatomy Season 2. The line on Grey's was originally "If love were enough, I'd still be with you."_


End file.
